Best Practices for New Ladies

    I started thinking about some of the best practices for ladies that are new to the business as I often get requests for mentoring. Here are a few of the things I have discussed with ladies and feel free to comment, add suggestions or discuss on #escorttwitter and #heauxtwitter!


    • Choose your stage name wisely as this is the first impression guys make of you whether you like it or not.


    No lie: I was on ECCIE and stumbled upon a provider with the name “Rock Star the Cock Star” and my jaw dropped. I was on Indy`s placing ads for a lady I screened for who was touring the area and there was a woman who called herself “One Sexy Beast”. These were not just nicknames…these names were on their websites. I know these are extreme examples, but giving yourself a good start begins with your stage name.


    • Take the time to learn some basic web building skills with one of the easy tools such as Wix or Squarespace ( tutorials are on YouTube if you are a G) because knowing how to upload your own pictures, change text on the fly or add/remove sections is a skill worth learning and will save you $$$.


    I built my website and blog out of sheer necessity back in 2011. I had left my corporate job and re-entered sex work and needed a website to take my business to the next level. Everyone was charging $800 or more at the time and it seemed that the only trustworthy game in town back then was Veda Designs. Her sites were gorgeous, but a heaux friend informed me that her turnaround time was long…really long. I taught myself in three days from watching YouTube videos and experimenting. Is my current website flashy and posh? No, I don`t consider it to be so, but it`s functional, IT`S MINE and I know how to maintain it! Now in 2017 however; there are so many providers who are designing kick ass sites that I feel ladies in need don`t have to take this step as I did back in 2011, however; I still think learning some basic skills goes a long way.


    • Learn how to edit your own photos and create your own marketing materials.


    I can’t stress this enough! Does everyone have the eye to edit their own photos to the point they are ready to be featured in Vogue? No. But we can learn to blur face, crop, touch up the color, exposure and clarity of a photo. At $15 to $50 per photo edit with the pros it is not always cost effective. Also, do not over edit yourself so that you’re out here catfishing the market which never bodes well long-term for those who work with photographers who are keen on doing such. PicMonkey, Canva and others are great tools to learn and use!


    • Advertise in multiple places–not just three!


    There are TONS of free places to advertise as an escort! Tons! Of course there are the old standbys, but there are boards for every region and even though I am based in Atlanta I advertise in the South, up and down the East Coast, Midwest and North Midwest. Why? In February 2017 my FREE Eros ad in Utah netted me a 4 hour appointment with a guy who was here in Atlanta on business. I saw two guys from my FREE Eros Oklahoma ad in March 2017 who were in Atlanta attending a convention. All of them said they had been looking at those ads since January 2017 and jumped at the chance to see me when they were in my city since they couldn`t afford to fly me to them. Never underestimate the power of an ad that you deem not worth your time. You never know who is looking.


    • Email response templates are you friend when you advertise on Escort Classifieds or other high response sites.


    The easiest way to respond to the plethora of shitgibbons who send, “You Available/Hey/Yo’ Sexi” and other iterations of ignorance is to have templates sitting in your drafts folder. I have four templates (email me if you want info) that I use to respond to high volume classified ads given the conversation. This prevents me from having my day and brain power zapped from putting together original responses for asshats and it allows me to clear the way for those who are truly of value, know exactly what they seek from me and with whom I can have an amazing experience with.


    • Do not publicize your work phone number online!


    This is mostly personal preference. I have been in this business well before 2011 and back in the day having your phone number out there was critical to the business. When I started back in 2011 and with me being in school I began the move to email only and I LOVE IT! I am not a person who likes to talk by phone even to my friends. I prefer text for everything. With potential suitors I prefer email, a call to confirm and give directions and then afterwards they can text my work number to set a date with me. Also, being email only allows me to scrape away the ass froth that likes to clog up email with their nonsense. I don`t want to deal with those “Are you available” calls. NOPE! Email is an effective pre-screening tool for time-wasters as I value my time and only want to dedicate my time to those who are serious. I have tons of other more important things to do rather than be “pretend” busy answering my phone all day and so do you!




    Adhering strictly to an established process keeps you safe, trains inquirers in how to deal with providers who take their business, safety and privacy serious and it keeps other providers safe. Yes, we all receive those inquiries that we know are safe the moment we talk to them by phone or those that give all their screening information upfront. They instantly give us that gut feeling that they are safe and 90% of the time we are right. Adhere to screening best practices and never waver–even with these types. Practice makes perfect and it`s a good habit to have established. Never allow greed to override your screening practice. Greed will get you robbed, raped, assaulted, dead or in jail. I have always said that if inquirers aren`t passing screening in a given week, then I need to advertise more widely and network with other providers or I guess me, homecooked meals and Netflix will be buddies that week.


    • Be reference friendly to other providers.

    Source: Jezebel Magazine

    Nothing sucks more that asking for a reference from a provider and then getting the “I don`t give references” email. I understand it is each ladies’ prerogative to give them but I have always thought about it this way: If I didn`t give a lady information that I have on a guy–good or bad–and shit went south or it was someone who was falsely using me as a reference (this happens all the time in our business) and something happens to her, then from my perspective blood is on my hands. I want nothing more than for everyone to be able to operate safely and that means giving references and being highly responsive to other providers no matter my opinion of them personally. Feelings have no place in this aspect of the business. Keep feelings out of it and doing the requirements of the job when it comes to giving provider references. I will keep my sisters safe and be honest in references no matter how I feel!


    • Hold your health to the highest standards because your clients will not.


    Here`s a basic and very true rule about men: The average man is lax with his own health. Also, we each are responsible for teaching people how to treat us. Get a full STD panel done every 30-60 days, always use condoms in your personal and especially your professional life. Read up on FACTUAL, scientifically verified and UP-TO-DATE STD/STI information from the CDC website, WHO and that of your local health department.  Learn how to insert and use a female condom since there is a growing trend among clients to “stealth” providers –slip off the condom when she`s not looking ( @Marq on Twitter has the best thread ever and talks extensively about the subject) as this puts the power in your hands plus properly lubed up guys say it “feels like the real thing”. If there are things that you don`t do, then don`t do them and stand firm! I don`t do anal, don`t like fingers up there either, can`t stand a man`s fingers in my vagina and I am not a submissive. I tell clients these things upfront. I also tell them that fresh breath and freshly washed hands are a must before we make any sort of contact. If you state firmly your do`s and don`ts there are men that will respect it. There are also those that will not. Give them a pass and know there is someone out there for everyone and who is more than ok with your standards and who will respect them!


    • Show respect to other providers no matter if they are below or above you.


    Not every provider has the privilege of working out of a posh second incall location. Most of us are working out of hotels or our own homes. There are also women who still free style or walk tracks. Be humble and never put another


    provider down for the way she runs her business. Seek to learn, seek to educate and be a beacon of light for others in the business. Sex work is hard fucking work and whether a lady is charging $40 or $400 she is still doing hard work and deserves to be treated with respect and dignity as a human being. Would I like to see us all charging $400 or more for an hour of our time? Fuck yeah I would! But everyone isn`t able for various reasons. I have ladies at multiple levels of this business reach out to me for various things. I try to meet people where they currently are. If all she has the capacity to talk about is wanting STD info then that`s what we chat about, if she wants to know about safe hotels, ad copy or better photos then we go there. Will I encourage higher rates? Damn right I will! Pussy is like platinum and should always fetch the highest dollar it can get. But I also am aware that her frame of mind might not be where she thinks she can get more so I will just be positive and encouraging. Remember: The same person you talk down to today could be the person you are looking up to next year.




    I don`t think this can be said enough! Trust that muthafucka because it will never lie to you! Whether it is about a client, a new man/woman in your life, other providers, hotels or anything in life really. Trust your gut! We have all had those moments in and out of this business when we didn`t trust our gut and paid the price. Either we wound up with a shitty client or got shorted, bought a shitty car, discovered we were being cheated on. There are a plethora of examples of trust you gut in many areas of your life. This one is pretty self explanatory.


    • Learn the rule of saving 10/20/20/50


    Set aside 10% of every appointment for an emergency fund, 20% for long-term savings, 20% to pay taxes at the end of the year and split the rest 50/50 between your personal and household checking accounts. I developed this rule after much trial and error and reading alot of books and websites about savings and investing. While writing this post I actually had an appointment I had to stop for. He was an hour which is $400.

    • $40 went to my emergency fund
    • $80 to my long-term savings
    • $80 to my savings that I pay taxes from
    • $100 to my personal checking 
    • $100 to household bills

    This money will add up quicker than you can imagine! I found that the best time to institute this is right after you have a kick ass month and get every balance you have down to zero. Immediately institute this with the first booking afterwards and stick to it. It does mean that you will have to make changes to spending habits. Most likely in the areas of entertainment, eating out, drinking and miscellaneous one-time expenditures. I now cook at home 6 out of 7 days, don`t drive as much, use my phone only when near a hotspot and I don`t do impulse buys. I found for me, those were the things that got me quickly financially off track. I now make it a game to find fun free or damn near free things to do in my area.


    • Have an exit plan formulated and written down within your first year (or at some point).


    Many of us get into this business out of financial need. Few of us calculate our entry or exit. Be one of the few that do! Honestly think about why you are getting into this business. Think about what you hope to gain from sex work and write down your goals. Can you do sex work long-term? Yes, if you really like it (there are providers that are over 55) and plan well, however; the typical career span that I have seen for providers is 2-3 years. There are many whose careers are much longer (myself included) but looking around at ads and boards over the years the aforementioned seems about an average unscientific estimate. Set a goal and break it down into quarterly, monthly, weekly and daily action steps to make it real and attainable. Post it up so that you can see it daily. Learn to visualize your goals, use affirmations and keep your mood lifted and positive. Also learn from the women around you! The pool of knowledge is so vast that you will be a black-belt jedi master of heuxing in no time if you tap into it!


    You are in control! This is your business! Claim your success!

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