The Ashley Madison Effect

    Alexandria Fox · September 26, 2015 · Booking and Ettiquette, The Do's & Don'ts According to Alex · 0 comments

    xl-2015-ashley-madison-2With the serious breach of security in July 2015 experienced by the number one extramarital affair site, Ashley Madison, has come some interesting and frustrating fallout for the independent escort market: No one wants to be screened anymore…sigh…

    It seems that every few years I must write a blog post to address the importance of screening and the importance of staying away from “dating” sites that obviously store your information which increases the likelihood that if their systems get hacked your secrets get leaked. I understand that the desires of men (and women) are just as complex as the humans who conjure them. I also understand the appeal of sugar daddy and sugar baby sites as well. However, I personally am of the belief that if a guy or girl wants to attend to their sexual desires and kinks outside of their marriage then the safest route is to hire the services of a VERIFIED independent provider.

    What is Meant By VERIFIED?

    A verified provider is one who 1) has a fairly well designed website, 2) has at least 6 reviews in the last 6 months on one of the top review boards, 3) has a web presence beyond the low-end, online classified ads, 4) and SHE SCREENS HER APPOINTMENTS 100% OF THE TIME! NO EXCEPTIONS!

    What is The Purpose of Screening?

    images (2)Screening is to ensure that you are whom you state. That you are safe to see, that you are honestly seeking the company of the lady you are interested in and are not looking to cause her (or yourself) any safety, health or legal problems should she elect to meet you. It seems that many of the men who contact providers are freaked out about the Ashley Madison breach and somehow think that the risk of their information getting hacked into or leaked applies to all levels of clandestine arrangements which is not true. An independent provider works for herself–she is not affiliated with an agency, booker or any large dating site such as Ashley Madison. She works alone, operates alone and is truly a one woman show. Also there is no incentive to keep or share your information. What for? A good provider understands the damage to her reputation that doing such a thing would cause. Not only would she find herself blacklisted among many hobbyist once the word got out, but a good portion of other verified providers would want nothing to do with her. One never kisses and tells in this business because it is simply very bad for business.


    Just as YOU have a personal life you seek to protect, most providers do as well which is why pictures often have faces blurred and other identifying marks removed. Providers are soccer moms, on PTA boards, students, employees and some are just women who enjoy the work and this is what they do but still don’t want everyone in their neighborhood knowing because of the stigma and legal issues surrounding this type of work in the U.S. This is also why we all screen our clients. Screening varies from provider to provider but if you want to see the lady of your choice, simply comply with what she asks or states on her website, trust that your information isn’t being stored or shared (because it isn’t) and relax and look forward to your meeting to come.

    **IMPORTANT** Reasons YOU Should Be Screening the Provider You’re Planning to See, and Avoiding Providers Who Ask for the Bare Minimum or Nothing at All!!

    There are two general categories of sexworkers: Safe to See, and Potentially Dangerous and it is my goal to educate you on those that are potentially dangerous. When is the last time you thought with the head on your shoulders and not the one between your legs and images (1)thoroughly vetted a provider before making the initial contact with her to schedule a date with her? Did you check to see if she had a legit website, how long she’s been working and/or what other hobbyist have to say about her? Probably didn’t think about all of that did you? So why would you want to see someone who doesn’t think on those terms when it comes to the type of guys she sees? 

    If you are the type of guy who sees women in this business who do not screen their clients then you are taking a huge risk! Guys get robbed, beat up, killed and worse–arrested–when they just ring up (or email) a girl and only ask for her rates and availability and don’t give a second thought as to if she’s screening them and guys seem to never screen the girls they seek to see because they are too cheap, lazy or both to become a member of the big escort or verification boards. If you are not willing to be screened it says several things to me: 1) You have no regard for your own personal safety, privacy or health. 2) If you don’t care about yours, you care about mine even less. 3) You haven’t fully thought out your desire to see a provider in a logical fashion…blood flow has pooled in your crotch and your brain is severely deprived of oxygen right now hence the lack of foresight and critical thinking skills.

    It is because of this and other things that this business will forever be illegal in the US…people like you, Mr. Doesn’t Want to be Screened, and the ladies who don’t screen properly and who hurt/rob good clients prevent the rest of us who are just trying to have safe, clean fun between two consenting adults from having nice things…

    Moving forward, think before you contact that next provider without checking her out or before you balk at another provider’s attempts to screen you…it could mean the difference between  you having a good, safe and sexy good time on a date with the woman of your fantasies or your worst nightmare come true.

    Take this as a lesson in safety…

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