Whore Slander: The Passive Aggressive Ways Sex Worker’s Slander One Other’s Business Models

    Alexandria Fox · September 12, 2016 · Sexwork: Past and Present, The Do's & Don'ts According to Alex · 0 comments

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    In the words of Jada Jacobbs (text added/deleted for clarity): “I think all ladies want [to be] original to a point in this business, but then we all use the same strategies and not our own and then we say we all suck cock for money almost as if we are trying to discredit [statements made] that we are all different. Then we get upset if we blend into the crowd. The truth is that we are all different and we don’t all offer the same thing…it is what it is and the sooner we are honest with ourselves, the sooner we can target our particular niches. Point I am making is people are confusing being the same with being equal. We are all equal but we are not all the same.”

    I often discuss thought-provoking topics with Ms. Jacobbs and other fabulous women like her on Twitter. Ladies and gentlemen who are reading this: If you haven’t made the switch away from the Big Boards to Twitter for your heaux fix then you are missing the full stimulation of all five of your senses! Well, you can’t smell Twitter but you get my point. This topic came up in reference to research I am conducting on my next informational video which will talk about markets from the viewpoint of men and sex workers. It stood out to me as something that I have been meaning to write about for quite some time because it is the very reason some women slander a fellow sex worker’s business model rather than offer useful and insightful information. As Jada brilliantly points out, many confuse the fact that we all sell sex with sameness and sameness with equality. Re-read that last line:

    “We are all equal but we are not all the same.”

    A sex worker in Topeka, KS most likely cannot use the same marketing strategies as a sex worker in Manhattan, NYC. To disparage her marketing strategy and to exhibit an elitist and classist attitude towards her when she chooses to contact you out of admiration is a sniveling and spineless act. Every lady out here is trying to position herself as “high class” when they often exhibit classless and tasteless manners towards their fellows publicly and often. The passive aggressive slander knows no bounds and is often disguised as helpful advice: “Have you…

    • Considered raising your rates
    • Charging certain fees
    • Taking donations a certain way
    • Taking certain pictures/poses
    • Taking pictures with certain photographers
    • Doing away with certain session lengths
    • Offering/discontinuing certain services

    Looks mighty helpful–and it is–until the sex worker who is saying it follows the statement with, “I had to do (whatever is being suggested) because I got tired of (fill in blank) from clients which you seem to attract (or don’t attract) a lot.” Whether one realizes it or not, it’s passive aggressive slander and it doesn’t make anyone feel good or want to listen to you in the future. You come off as elitist and arrogant and I think this is why so many often retort with “You suck cock just as well as I do. Whether it’s two a day or 10 we still suck cock!” There are helpful and harmful ways of offering advice and offering them as a snobby heaux is the fastest way to end up speaking into the void and the void not speaking back.

    Another way is backhandedly complimenting physical features, hair, writing, speaking or one’s online (or lack thereof) presence.

    • You’re so petite but isn’t playing that up so much in your ads getting you the pedos?
    • I saw a guy who loved BBW’s last week who was ga-ga about me. Ugh! Have you seen him? (As you speak to a sex worker with a fuller body type)
    • I keep my skin tattoo free (or almost) because no guy will pay top dollar to see a woman with tattoos.
    • It’s amazing that you wear your natural hair! I wish I could but if I did I would get the White guys looking for ghetto girls or too many Black guys.
    • Since getting on (whatever social media) I have met far better guys than I was meeting on the boards. Oh…do you still post to (insert board name)?
    • I have so many readers to my blog, you should let me write something for you since I know business has slowed for you lately.

    I’m not even going to go there with the group discussions where someone says, “Well I charge XXX because my rates keep me low mileage” after another girl speaks of the busy week she’s had although her rates are the going rate in the area. Please explain low mileage pussy to me in a suybclogical, scientifically valid way, someone?! The vagina is not a belt on a car that wears out and cracks as it is used over time. It is wet, bacteria filled tube surrounded by the pelvic floor muscles that expands and contracts in response to the hormones of childbirth, sexual arousal and the exercising of the muscle that surrounds it. If anything the muscle gets more exercise with use, Bitches! The passive-aggressive whorification of whores and slut-shaming among fellow sex workers needs to stop. If you have been knowingly guilty of it make a commitment to change that and be a supportive member of the sex worker community. If you are reading this and realizing, “Oh shit! I’ve said/done that!” then change and change fast.

    We need to elevate and educate one another through deeds, words and actions towards one another. Aside from that, the suitors we all desire can’t stand such behavior as it is the fastest way to wreck a hard-on. Also know this: The guy who will pay $1,000 will also pay $300. It’s all about what attracts him to a particular lady so don’t think for a second that you are somehow better because you charge more and get it and you now have carte blanche in the community.

    “We are all equal but we are not the same”…wise words to go by and treat your fellow sex workers by. Seek to be truly kind and helpful and check your passive-aggressive advice at the door.

    Written by Alexandria Fox

    Written by Alexandria Fox

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